Damn You, Mongolian BBQ!

So, you walk in to a Mongolian BBQ, are seated and handed a bowl. You get up and head for the buffet where you fill said bowl with raw meat, vegetables, and oddly placed rotini pasta. You try not to touch the raw bits of NY Strip Steak that cover most of the the plastic tongs, and consider whether or not broccoli goes with pineapple. You possibly add an egg, and are then presented with a table of spices and sauces. While deciding between Pad Thai sauce and Kung Pao, you wonder what Fajita sauce and Marinara are doing in what appeared to be some kind of Asian fusion restaurant. Anyway, cup of Sweet and Sour in hand, you head to the grill, staffed by relatively but not terribly attractive men. One dumps your bowl on the grill, and pours the sauce on top. As he does this, you realize you've over-sauced. You also realize your hands are sticky, so you grab one of the provided wet wipes to clean any raw meat and Tangy Asian Black Bean sauce off your hands--just like the Mongols under the Mighty Khan.

Then you return to your table, make sure your purse is still there, and at this point, aren't surprised to find hot tortillas in addition to rice. You scoop the rice on your plate, and dump the bowl on top. Suspicions of over-saucing are confirmed, but all in all, it's not terrible. After thinking about it for a moment, you realize what it tastes like: something you made yourself. Why? Because you did. And that's not the point of a restaurant.

Science Experiment

Chocolate chip cookies have always been a fallback dessert I can handle from scratch. So, in an exceedingly unnecessary impulse, I bought an enormous bag of chocolate chips from Costco. When it comes to chocolate chip cookies, I've been sticking to the Nestle Toll House recipe on the back of the bag of chocolate chips (generally, but not necessarily skipping the nuts). Other than the nuts (boyfriend) in this apartment! Zing! In any case, my concern about the recipe was that the cookies always seemed a little flat and crispy on the edges. According to my cookie fantasies, they should be thicker, chewier. I mentioned this to a friend at work, and he told me—after shuddering at the thought of the Nestle recipe—that the key was melting the butter in the microwave before adding it to the mixer. I really do have too many food snobs in my life, but at least they know the tricks. So, I sent my boyfriend Nick (another food snob) to Google to find me a cookie recipe that promised a thick and chewy result. He printed one out for me, and indeed, as my friend at work suggested, this recipe called for the butter to be melted beforehand. Other differences were a larger proportion of brown sugar to granulated, and an egg and a yolk, rather than two whole eggs. Also, slightly less salt and butter. And I made the cookies larger in general. So, I had to bake about four at a time for eighteen minutes each. This ultimately killed my night. Worth it? I'm going to go with no. I have to say, though, I was genuinely surprised in the change in texture. Thicker, chewier, and generally what I was going for. The taste, however, was slightly muted. They're not bad, I just get the sense that the majority of the flavor is coming from the chocolate chips. Nick suggested that next time I revert back to Nestle's proportions of salt and butter. However, it was my understanding that baking isn't something you screw around with. The answer is probably just to never make chocolate chip cookies again. And now I'm stuck with a giant bag of chocolate chips.

Grocery Store Favorites

TOSTITOS: Hint of Lime are the best tortilla chips—and possibly best chips in general—out there. While a plain tortilla chip falls flat in the absence of salsa or dip, Tostitos HOL leaves the palette with zesty satisfaction without the guilt or stomachache I associate with Doritos. Pair it with a mojito.

Chocolate Chex. Making "Puppy Chow" by coating Chex in chocolate is a childhood staple anyway, so why not just make a chocolate version of the cereal? The best part about Chocolate Chex is that only about half of the pieces of cereal are actually chocolate. The other half are corn or whatever. Therefore, it doesn't turn your milk chocolate-y, and it still tastes like cereal. Adult, chocolate cereal is hard to come by. Special K has a flavor with chocolate pieces mixed in, but the candies are waxy and flavorless—only a disappointing illusion. I found some chocolate Mini Wheats as well, but I haven't tried them yet. So far, Chocolate Chex are a favorite. Pair it with a Merlot.

Annie's Organic White Cheddar and Pasta. It does have the same amount of fat as other boxed macaroni and cheese, but at least Annie's doesn't have that neon orange color. All you add is milk, and it's also less salty than Kraft. Plus, the shell-shaped pasta is cute. I always eat this pasta when my boyfriend is out and I'm watching TLC.

The Laughing Cow Cheese Wedges are ideal to bring to work. The creamy swiss cheese is spreadable on Club crackers, Wheat Thins, a baguette, or toast. The wedges are individually wrapped so it's easy to take one or two with you. It comes in a few flavors, but I like Original. The Light Original one actually tastes the same too.

Fiesta Salad

I'm not a huge salad person, but I normally like them if they have avocado. So, I figured I should try making some kind of southwestern fiesta salad. I added black beans, tomato, avocado, and tortilla chips. On top, I just put the regular italian dressing I use on all salads. It was okay. It had sort of a weird aftertaste. This recipe would have benefitted from a more fitting dressing and some more ingredients, like grilled corn.

Grated Finger

Slipped while grating the parmesan and got my thumb a little bit. The strangest part is that the grater cut through my fingernail and nicked the skin underneath. I didn't think that was possible. Sally Hansen Hard as Nails nail polish failed. Luckily, I don't think any finger got in the spaghetti.

Heath and Safety

Perhaps you remember a post I made over the summer about homemade iced tea. Though refreshing, making the tea may pose a few risks. Because you should do this on the stove (not the microwave) there is an exposed heat source that may touch something easily caught on fire: The paper tag on the end of the bag's string. While the tag will probably not burst into flame, it may cast an alarming glow not unlike that of a cigarette. While you can put this out by running the tag under the sink, it's best to not to burn your tag in the first place.

On another health and safety note: It is OK to eat cookie dough.

The Last Batch of Cookies

By the time I'm baking the last batch of cookies, I've eaten half of them, and the dough--which only moments ago was both delicious and mischievous--is suddenly a disgusting mix of raw eggs and butter.

Turkey Sandwich

So we ordered groceries from Safeway.com and had them delivered. This is very convenient when you don't have a car. Anyway, when the delivery guy left, I began to put things away, and I found some items we had not ordered. At first, I reached for the door handle to run after the guy, thinking we had received the wrong order, but soon I realized we'd just gotten some free stuff.** What did we get? Giant bags of lunch meat (Turkey and Roast Beef), Hummus, and an enormous (party size) tub of Spinach Dip. While I'd love to tell you I incorporated all of these into a delicious recipe, all I can say is I used the turkey and hummus to make a sandwich. I went to the over-priced little store around the corner and found some lettuce and tomato, and I smacked these between two pieces of toast with the turkey and a layer of hummus. Delish!

**Perhaps you can judge my morals here, but I'm pretty sure once a food item has been delivered incorrectly, it is trash. Much like the principles at a restaurant: once something is down on your table, they cannot put it on another table. Why waste good lunch meat, right?

Top Ten Reliable Dinners

(in no order)

1. Frozen Tortellini or Ravioli: And some sauce!

2. Shepherd's Pie: Meat and Potatoes! (and carrots and celery and onions)

3. Chili: Spice Pack, Beef, Beans + Tortilla Chips, Cheese, Sour Cream

4. Fajitas: Spice Pack (again) Chicken, Red Peppers, Onion + Tortilla, Sour Cream, etc.

5. Steak: With my famous Herbed Potatoes.

6. Tuna Noodle Casserole: Easy!

7. Grilled-Chicken Salad: Grilled Chicken, Shredded Cheddar, Croutons, Italian Dressing.

8. Stuffed Shells: Jumbo Shells, Riccota, Parsley, Jar of Sauce, Bake!

9. ....order pizza?

10. I can't think of another right now.

Caryn's Famous Herbed Potatoes

It's easy to make my famous herbed potatoes. First, peel and cube some of your favorite potatoes then boil or steam them until they're soft and ready for mashing. Next, put them in a bowl with some moist ingredients like milk, butter, and sour cream. Now break out the hand mixer and beat them until creamy. Finally, you need the herb (duh). Finely chop some chives, parsley, cilantro, green onion, whatever, and mix 'em in! Herbed potatoes!